I need you to understand something: you'll never understand. It is not something which can be concluded or calculated or speculated or even assumed. It is not something that is due to your inferior intellect nor my superior knowledge. It is not that of wisdom nor comprehension nor any other virtue you so greatly value. It simply is. And that's how the world has to be.

I know this is hard for you, especially coming from me. I know it's not what you expected, and I know it's not what you wanted to hear. I know it may seem irrational and stupid and completely out of the blue, but it is not. What has happened must happened, and that's how it is.

Do not feel guilty for any action or lack there of, for there is nothing anyone could have done which could change the current circumstances which lie before you. All is as it shall be, and that is that.

Please do not worry or fret or call he who only wears white. There is nothing to be done. It is far too late.

How do I know this? I just do. It's something that simply is. I am not sad nor angry nor envious nor content. I simply am. That is neither a criticism nor a compliment. Simply a fact of life. How it is is how it was always meant to be. Destiny, fate, whatever. This is how it is.

Do not cry over your misfortune nor the misfortune of others nor the misfortune which you perceive to be so real. Crying will get you nowhere and it will give you nothing. It is not something which we people do. We are people of progression, people of doing, people of people.

We are not people of fearing, people of regressing, nor people of oppression. We do not hate and we do not loathe. We do not hurt and we never say no. Unless, of course, no is yes in the backwards world that is our present.

We do these things because we are people. We are humans. More than that, we are family. You, me, and everyone else. There's no denying that. Even the monkeys are family in an odd sort of way. And that's okay. I know how much you love monkeys.

I wish to say that the ignorance which is your current dilemma is nothing more than a momentary fluke, but that is not so. What you do not understand you may not and cannot ever understand, for you never were, nor will you ever be, me, and that's okay. I'm me and you're you. That's how things have to be.

If there ever comes a time when you do understand, quickly forget. Forbade such a horrid comprehension and the inexplicable consequence. Refuse enlightenment, disdain the very thought of knowledge. This is not something you want to know. This is not something I want you to know. This is something you can't know.

But there is something you can know. Something you must know. Forever. Always. Keep this with you wherever you go and whatever you do. Pull it along the hard sidewalk and up the long drive and through the front door and up the heavy stairs and all the way to the third bedroom on the right. The one with pink flowers and the gray bubblegum stand. Put in a quarter and chew that gum with all your might and spit it out with the haste of a sprinter  and plop on that small twin sized bed with the turquoise covers and the matching outrageously priced body pillow. Lay there and think and wonder and imagine how great the world is, and how much better you're going to make it. Because you are going to make the world a better place, just by being a part of it. Whether you're an artist or an astronaut, I could care in the least. This is not to say I do not care, for I care very much, but only for your happiness, and nothing more. Whether you make millions or a hundreds I'll be satisfied, as long as you are too. But what you can know, what you must know, more than anything and everything, is the fact that I love you, and no act, even this act, can change that.

No matter what people say or what the women chatter, for there is always a town gossip when it comes to my ways, pay no heed. It is not your place to entertain the false truth and flat out ignorance of others. But give no joy to their pious ways. Let them snicker and mock and cry out in envious pity, for they will. Let them tease and bully and dig you straight into the ground, because they'll do that too. Let them do everything, because, in the end, you'll be the wiser, for unlike them, your daddy loves you, and unlike them, will never stop.

I know it may seem confusing now and may seem even more confusing later, but think of this not. This is not a thought to entertain nor even invite into your beautiful home. You're better than that. You always were. Though my love may seem lost and I too forever gone, that is not so. I am always here. With you. In this letter. Forever. Always.

And when all seems lost and the world nothing but a travesty, remember my words. Remember how much I love you and how much I want you to be happy. Remember that I don't care what other people think or say or do or whisper. All I care about is you, and that means, first and foremost, your happiness. If your not happy, I'm not either, even if you can't see it on my face. Your happiness is the only happiness, and that's that.

So when they push you down and bake you in mud and leave you for riddance, remember that you have something they can never have, not even if they try. For it is not something which can simply be had or gained, even by the hardest of work. It is something that simply is, and it will always be with you. You will be happy, because that is what you ought to be. No matter what they say, what they do, you will be happy, and to me, that is the world.

When the kids ask you what happened or the men in blue encourage an explanation, tell them this: Daddy was a good man, a great man, the best of men, but even the best can't last forever. What happened happened, and that is that.

Some will snicker and others will cry and still more will burst out in spasmodic bouts of blubbering. That is normal. Do not comment on their state. Simply smile and say it's okay and that you understand, even though you can't, and no one can.

They will tell you they know how you feel and understand if you need to cry, but you won't, because you acquire no need. Crying is for the wasteful and there is nothing to be sad about anyways. All is as it should be and that is a very joyous thing.

If you hate me for this I do understand. I can't fathom how you wouldn't. But you are a spectacular young girl and will one day be a fine young woman, I'm sure of that. If anyone could forgive me it would be you, for forgiveness is not a weakness, but a strength stronger than any other. Remember, great rulers are remember for what they forgave, not what they forgot. So always forgive, and never forget, even if you can't bare even the thought.

Of course, if you must forget, make it hasty and complete, for there is no forgetfulness more tedious than that which will never truly subside. If you must admonish my existence, though I can fathom no crueler punishment, I understand. But do not forget me out of hate nor pain nor injustice, for such a thing is just an escapism, and no true forgetfulness will come of it. Forget me because you no longer need me, and I will question you not.

Of course, most parents don't feel this way. In fact, most people don't feel this way. Most people think they need to be remembered by everyone forever because that's what your supposed to do. But it's not. The truth is you should only be remembered until you no longer need to be remembered, however long that is. If it's a day or a millennium is your choice and your choice only, not any strange constraint of society. What you remember and what you choose not to recall is completely and whole heartedly up to you, as long as you choose.

When you don't choose, you no longer exist. That, first and foremost, is free will. What the choices are is of little importance, as long as you have the ability to choose. I have made my choice, and I hope one day you may make yours, whatever that is.

When you finally meet the boy of your dreams, or the girl or the other, tell them what I told you. Whenever they ask, tell them how it is. Don't give them a sob story or some woe of a tale about the tragedy of existence and the futility of life. There is no tragedy, and life is anything but futile. I know he will ask because that is what men do. Women too. It's what we do. It's what humans need.

Assure him that pity is a useless response and nothing more than a waste of his and your time. Tell him that it is simply how things are and there's no use in moping about the past. The past is long gone and the future will never come. That's simply how the world works. If he diffuses these opinions, amuse his interest, but heed no further concern. What he or she or otherwise thinks is up to them, and it is their duty to think as such. Whether they voice those opinions or not is a concern of their own, as is their inability to understand.

Of course, you yourself may never understand. You never will, I pray to God. But you will accept it and so will they, eventually. Some will take time and some will be quick, but in the end, all will come to accept reality as it is. It's simply how things are. Those who can't accept the world as it is can never do much of anything. We cannot change what we first do not accept. That is the truth of life.

What the meaning is I do not know, nor do I care to speculate. Who knows? Maybe you'll find out, or someone else in your generation will. That would certainly be an interesting topic. But it doesn't matter. It never did. To wonder of the unanswerable is to speak to the deaf.

So be happy, because that's all we should be. We can be a lot of things, but we should be happy. Will you always be happy? No. You can't be. If you were always happy you'd never be. But cherish the moment that happiness strikes, and accept the duality that is happiness' opposer. Sadness will come no matter how hard you try, and there is nothing to be done about that.

But don't be sad about this. That's just stupid. To wallow in the woes of the misunderstood is to laugh upon a dead man's grave. You cannot pity what you do not know, and thus there is no use. Others will try and I accept that, but I beg you not to do the same. You're better than that. Better than anything. The best, really. You can do anything you set your mind to, and you will do whatever you wish.

I'm sure others will be sad. And this too you must accept. Yes, they'll be sad for the wrong reasons, for there's really no reason to be sad at all, but you must accept this too. It's impossible to persuade the depressed. They will think what they wish no matter what you insinuate. This is simply a fact of life. Do not pity them, for they deserve no more pity than the beggar on the street. Cherish them, love them, care for them, but do not pity them. Nothing good ever comes from pity.

A final thing. I want you to know that I'm not running away. I would never leave you. Not for the world and a million over. Not for the galaxy or the universe or all the universes and all other. I will never leave you. I never have. I am simply invisible now, in a certain sense of the word, and that's okay. If everything was visible nothing would be, and what a travesty that would be.

I love you, Amelia, more than you could ever know. And perhaps that is what you may truly never fully understand. Perhaps when you have a daughter of your own, if that's what you choose to do, you may truly understand this inexplicable phenomenon that is my care for you. But I doubt it. But then again, you are my daughter, and if anyone could do it, it would be you.

Tell your mother and two brothers I love them. Give them kisses and hugs and tell them how it will all be okay. They won't understand. They can't. No one can. But you will be happy. And you will not cry. For you know there's no reason, and that is that.

I love you, Amelia.

Forever.

Always.