"How, do you suppose, do we end what we never started?"

"We don't?"

"And why is that, may I ask?"

"You may not."

"Well that, sir, is no way to speak to a peer!"

"I am not your peer."

"Then what are you, my good sir?"

"I am you."

"I beg your pardon?"

The young gentlemen, with his square draw protruding precariously, ignores the question. "Why are you here, Phillip?"

"Well since when did you get curious?"

"Who said I wasn't?"

"Well I'll be. You don't make lots of friends, do you?"

"Who needs friends when you have power?"

"Well surely everybody needs somebody." Phillip insists.

"Since when?"

"Well, since, like forever, I suppose."

"I could not disagree with you more."

"And why not?"

"There is no greater lie than that of self deceit."

"I am not fooling myself!" Phillip exasperates, twisting at his frail beard incessantly.

"Ah, but you are."

"How so?"

"You say that everybody needs somebody, yet you have nobody. Are you not somebody? Or anybody, for that matter?"

"I am Phillip Rodriguez Perez, and I may be whoever I wish to be!"

"Except friendly, I suppose."

"I could if I so wished!"

"Could you?"

"Of course I could! I just haven't nearly the time!"

"Time is not to be had sir, it simply is."

"And who are you to get all stoic, anyways?!"

"I am only stating what I believe to be true."

"Well what you believe to be and what really is are two very different things!"

"Are they?"

"Well, most certainly!"

"How so?"

"If I see a rock and believe it to be a fine buttered toast, it will still be a rock." The bearded man antiquates.

"But if you believe it to be buttered toast, then why can't it be."

"Because it is not!"

"But if you believe it to be, how would you know otherwise?"

"Well...well...well...you just would."

"Your logic, sir, is lacking."

"I don't need you!" Philip shouts, stroking his grizzled beard  nervously.

"No, I don't suppose you do. Not now, anyways."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It is to mean whatever you wish to mean. It matters little what I mean, for it will still continue to mean."

"You're a strange little man, you know that?"

"I have been told as such."

"What's your name, anyways?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well...that's what you do, is it not? I ask for your name and you ask for mine. That's what civilized men do. But, clearly, you are neither civil nor a man."

"And what makes name asking so civilizing."

"It allows me to call you by name whenever need be, as to grab your attention or exemplify my great wisdom."

"Memory and wisdom are rarely the same."

"Then why are old people so wise?"

"Because they can't seem to remember a time when they were not."

"You got an answer for everything, don't ya?"

"I never said I did."

"Ha!" The old man, Phillip, sleuths, "Even his comebacks are witty."

"I, sir, am only responding to your questions. I mean no rudeness upon you."

"Then why, young man, do you refuse to oblige by a simple law of civilization."

"And what law is that?"

"Kindness."

"I dare say I'm perfectly kind."

"Boy, you got a lot of nerve saying something like that!"

"And what makes you say that?" The young man inquires innocently.

"Well, for one thing, you refuse to tell me your name. That makes me believe that your some kind of criminal or something, running away from the law or something like that."

"What else?"

"Well, for another thing, you seem to be answerin my questions in a rather odd roundabout way. You're not really saying much of anything."

"I say what I believe, no more, no less."

"And that's another thing! Why don't you wipe that stupid smirk off your face! What right do you got coming into my town blabbing about my good manners and my good people."

"I have spoken, I assure you, of none of these things. Furthermore, I have only spoken when spoken to, and thus you are the one who is being rude to me."

"And how is that?"

"I did not come here to be interrogated, Phillip. I came here to enjoy a drink, that is all."

"And that's another thing! Where do you get off talking to me like I'm your best friend I the whole wide world? Do I look like the kind of guy whose got lots of friends."

"Well, sir, it doesn't much matter what you look like, for you and I both know you have none."

"And where do you go assuming a thing like that?!"

"You told me, Mr. Perez, only a few minutes ago."

"Now don't you start calling me Mr. Perez just cus I called you out. When you do something, you stick with it, no matter how stupid it is."

"And where has that gotten you, sir?"

"Why, it's gotten me lots of places!"

"Like where, sir?"

"Well, for one thing, I'm the sheriff of this town! And for another, I'm up for mayor in less than a month! I got all the money a man would ever need and even more land! If you ask where I've been, I'll tell ya! I've been everywhere, and that's a hell of a lot more than just somewhere!"

"I dare say your right, Mr. Phillip Perez."

"Well at least we can agree on one thing."

"Oh, no, you must be mistaken, sir. I apologize if I have misled you in any way. I do not agree with you, I just said you were right."

"What's the difference?"

"Well to agree, if you really must know, is to share a similar opinion. And I, sir, share no similar opinion, especially in such a crude fashion."

"How dare you even..."

"Let me finish." The young boy interrupts. "Your opinions are vulgar to me, and apparently, only vulgar to me. Otherwise, no town in the world would ever be so foolish as to elect you as mayor, especially Houston. However, my opinion is my opinion, and it is my opinion that you are a greedy, selfish, ignorant lonely man without a care in the world. And that, sir, is truly terrifying."

"What's so terrifying about being happy?"

"Nothing at all, when it has no affect upon another."

"What is that supposed to mean."

"It means what I meant it to mean. Happiness comes at a price sir, a very large price. And you sir, have paid it all."

"With what, may I ask?"

"With your ignorance."

"How dare you even consider the idea..."

"I am considering nothing, Mr. Phillip Perez, I assure you. I am simply stating things as they are. You have sacrificed your intellect for happiness, that is simply a fact of life."

"Yes, but you said the truth is what we believe, and..."

"That does not pertain to ignorance, Mr. Phillip Rodriguez Perez."

"Then what does it pertain to."

"What it may."

"What right do you got anyhow?"

"I have no rights at all, sir."

"Well certainly everyone has rights, even..."

"No sir, only humans have rights, and so that certainly does not pertain to me."

"Well if you ain't a human, what are you?"

"As you said sir, we are what we believe to be."

"Now I never said no..."

The young man vanishes.