So I murdered a man, what's the big deal? I mean, it's just one guy. And when you think about it, theres a lot worst things a girl could do. I mean, really. It's not like he didn't deserve it or anything. So I stabbed him in the back a few times. What's the big deal?

No, I literally mean I stabbed him in the back, and I don't mean literally in that teenage girl this-is-literally-the-worst-day-ever sense. I mean literally in that I literally grabbed a steak knife and stabbed him repeatedly. With malice and all.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a generally nice person, that stuff would never even scrounge in the dark corridors of my mind on most days. Any day, really, I'm not crazy or anything like that. It's not what you think, really. You just gotta let me explain. Just give me a minute to tell you how it is. You give me your ear, and I'll give you my plea.

No, not your real ear! Don't get all melodramatic. I meant that in the figurative sense. Ya know, like I give you my attention or something like that. I don't really give you my attention. It's more of a loan, I suppose. Yes, much like a loan. Except, unfortunately, sometimes the beggars aren't to eager to pay it back.

No matter. I got all the resources in the world. I'm here, that is. For those that can't see, I'm pointing at the old noggin. Yup, that's right, I'm a pure genius, 170 IQ and all. Valedictorian, Harvard graduate, the whole nine yards. Heck, I can even play Mozart on the piano. A real aficionado, if you will. To top it all off, I'm only twenty three, and banging. And I don't mean banging in like that I'm a horny teenage guy and I'll tap anything with a pulse banging, I'm talking I'm a heterosexual conservative female who has never even considered the idea of homosexuality until meeting me. Yea, I'm that good looking, and you don't have to take my word for it, either. Ask anyone.

But I suppose that isn't much of a concern in this particular situation, is it? I suppose everyone's got their minds dead set on that whole murdering thing. Well I guess that's understandable. That kind of stuff doesn't happen everyday. Well, I mean, it does, but us privileged middle class white folk wouldn't know a thing about that, would we? Well I do, or rather, I did.

I mean, I still know it and all, it's not like I'm stupid enough to forget it or anything, but it's different now. When you've seen what I've seen, the whole world starts phasing a different color. It's kind of hard to explain. You kind of got to see it for yourself. But once you see it, well, there's no unseeing something like that. Not even if you pull your own eyes out. Even Oedipus couldn't forget his mommy. At least I didn't do that.

Now I know what some of you are starting to think: I'm just some rich, privileged little white bitch from big old Manhattan who doesn't know a thing about anything, other than sleeping with boys and slapping men. Well, I'll tell you I know a lot more than you think I know. Hell, I think I even know more than I know, if I really think about it. So don't go start judging what you don't understand. That is, don't sentence without a verdict.

But before the verdict comes the trial, I suppose I better get started real quick on that back story. I've never been much for that kind of stuff, so I'll try to make it quick. I mean, as quick as I can make it. You can only make something so quick, especially when the details are supposedly important or something. I don't know, I'm no philosopher. Just a smoking hot Harvard grad with a doctorate in psychology. No big deal.

I guess I better start from the beginning.